Hi everyone!
So here I am sitting on our bed (Mary is sleeping beside me and all she is
hearing in her subconscious is the clackety clack clack of my typing) and there
is still light in the sky (close to midnight now). I wonder how she will
interpret this typing sound in her latest dream. I'm sure it will involve
something like squirrels scampering across a picnic table escaping the ruthless
pursuit of a garden gnome.
Trailer life has gotten even more interesting as all of you have probably
suspected. After 3 weeks of living in such close quarters, we are beginning to
either really enjoy each other's personality quirks or be so annoyed with them
that we can do nothing but laugh. I am probably the greatest culprit when it
comes to annoying everyone. In my eyes, I'm just the main source of
entertainment. For those of you who know me quite well, I love to sing and
whistle. I am also very organized to the point of being anal. Verbal
confirmation does not reassure me that future plans are secure. I am a VISUAL
person (hence all of these damn E-mails you have been receiving) so I need
everything written down or I constantly ask the same questions... I also tend to
hate silence (other than when I'm sleeping) so I will recite random thoughts if
no one else contributes. Since we drive in almost complete silence because my
father believes radio is the work of the devil, I've had plenty of time to drive
everyone mad. Believe me...we have been driving...did you know we are almost as
far west as Hawaii now and we are far closer to Russia than we are to Ottawa?
My mother announces her thoughts publicly on a constant basis. We always know
when she will be brushing her teeth, preparing to scold my father or proudly
proclaiming that she naturally, will be going to bed. As my parents ready
themselves for their deep, peaceful slumber, their hide-a-bed blocks the access
to the doorway. Only once did I need to climb over their bed to retrieve
something. As I approached my dozy elders, I lost my balance. I felt my large
frame falling towards my father and instinctively shot my arm forward.
Unfortunately, it was heading for his groin area. He instinctively raised his
knee to protect himself. My upper jaw at that point had alarmingly reached the
proper speed to squarely (and painfully) connect with the density of his
kneecap.
My father of course is fascinated with other campers. He stares out the window
during mealtime and watch intently as other RV's set up their sites. In
particular, he will watch people with trailers and hope that they have far more
problems backing up than he does. Our trailer has some warranty issues though.
The awning at one point threw my father ten feet in the air as he tried to
retract it, the bathroom fan became a vacuum cleaner and sucked all of my
mother's hair curlers into cyberspace and Mary's stuffed chinchilla was crushed
by one of the hydraulic jacks.
Anyways, back to the actual trip...
Skagway, Alaska was our next destination. It was the most scenic portion yet of
our drive. We easily made it through White Pass (past the tree line!) to
Alaska's inside passage. Everything about Skagway's past involves the Klondike
Gold Rush. However, the present day brings us to the cruise ship passenger rush.
We secured a campground right on the harbour and proceeded to observe many
shapes and sizes of tourists as they disembarked these floating monstrosities.
We watched as the sleepy town of Skagway transformed itself into the most
exciting place in the world. Gift shops threw open their doors, trains became
alive, helicopters and seaplanes began buzzing around, a herd of wild coyotes
were released and a bottled water station was set up right on our campsite.
The town of Skagway has less than 500 people. When the cruise ships arrive (on
this day there were 4) EIGHT THOUSAND more people are added (plus about 400
losers like us who decided to camp instead). Tourists will stare in awe at the
mountains and immediately connect head on with totem poles they claim were never
there. The tourists usually spent $10.00 on a Skagway keychain, $100.00 on an
authentic Skagway model train and $1000.00 on a piece of glacier ice kept frozen
by its own freezer! I really ticked off a saleslady in an expensive jewellery
store. As I was studying the map on a fancy wooden globe (only $2500.00!), she
approached me and proudly explained that this was the newest release in their
line of wooden globes. I told her in my most authentic Southern drawl that I was
simply trying to find Babblebum, Alabama cuz muh purtty cousin lived there. She
left in a hurry.
Yes, I'm a tourist too. But I pride myself in avoiding the typical tourist
traps. Seeing Granny wrestle a grizzly bear for only $29.99 just seems a bit
fishy. My father feels the same way. He studied a guide detailing the hiking
trails in the area and soon we were off climbing a 20% grade upwards. My dad
loved climbing mountains in his younger days and as I suspected was still really
good at it. However, I don't think he said as many bad words while as a younger
man. As we turned another corner and faced yet another incline that resembled a
drawbridge at its highest point, my father cursed about some kind of manure and
which way it would fly.
We drove quite a long way out of town to visit a gold rush ghost town called
Dyea. The lush forest and shards of metal we encountered were fascinating to say
the least. I also managed to hike the first 100 meters of the Chilkoot trail
(for all you history buffs, this was the trail the gold seekers took once they
reached Skagway and began their long journey to Dawson City)
The highlight of our stay was entitled "The Fjord Express to Juneau". This is
basically the poor man's Alaskan cruise. Instead of huge buffet meals, we are
served salmon chowder and a raisin-oatmeal cookie. Instead of swimming in
Olympic sized pools, we are encouraged to dip our pinky toes into the frigid
water. Instead of watching a fancy show, we watched our captain chew tobacco.
Instead of participating in a ballroom dance, we (men) dance around in the
bathroom adjusting our aim as the boat is rocked by another cruise ship swell.
It was a fantastic day. The scenery we witnessed was identical to what cruise
ship itineraries boast about. We saw glaciers, icebergs, sea lions, otters,
seals, humpback whales, killer whales, porpoises, eagles and sparrows. We saw
lighthouses, fishermen pulling in their salmon catches, ferries and of course,
the mighty cruise ships themselves. Juneau of course was a cruise ship tourist
trap but it did have its charm. My father found a fly-fishing store and my
mother found a washroom. We had the most amazing seafood lunch. Fresh halibut
and chips!
Mary and I took our bikes out one day (we stayed in Skagway three full days by
the way) and explored the town. We unearthed campgrounds where trailers were
packed together like sardines. We came across a graveyard where many of the
townsfolk from the gold rush were buried. We hiked up to a beautiful waterfall.
We stole a salmon from the mouth of a grizzly bear. All and all, it was a
beautiful ride...
And, I helped my father clean the trailer and car. That was a job...road crews
deposit calcium chloride on gravel roads to help everything stick.
Unfortunately, it sticks to vehicles and corrodes any galvanized metals.
Needless to say, our bikes looked like they came out of the movie Mad Max. It
took us just enough time for the women to return with an array of "smart" gift
shop purchases.
So the Alaskan Panhandle is indeed one of the most scenic spots on Earth. We are
in Whitehorse, Yukon and will be heading up to Dawson City, Yukon very soon.
Then we will be back in Alaska after travelling a highway called "The Top of the
World." I'm sure many tales will have to been told about that experience.
So this concludes the third report. Please remember to let me know if you still
receive strange symbols within the text of this E-mail. I think we have solved
the problem. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I know people are
sweltering in Ottawa and being flooded out in Winnipeg. The weather here is
always cool (high teens to low 20's) with intermittent sun and cloud. There is
supposed to be frost in Dawson City tomorrow. That should be interesting....
Write back if you have a chance. Many campgrounds have wireless Internet so Mary
and I can check our E-mail quite frequently.
Steve
