Hi folks!
I'm sitting here in our camper in a Denali National Park campground. It has been
pouring rain all day with a temperature around 12C. Apparently Mt. McKinley (the
highest mountain in North America) is visible from our campground. I only see a
stunning gray hue of moisture as it blockades that most awesome sight.
My wife reprimanded my parents today. She claimed they are weather obsessed. My
mother had commented that we would have bad weather for the rest of the trip. My
father complained 17.5 times about the gloomy rain and how it hid the mountains.
The .5 was calculated because Mary cut him off halfway and started lecturing
him.
There is no wireless network for miles around so I'm beginning to type this now
in hopes of sending it soon! However, this report will not focus on the Alaskan
Trip Report. Believe it or not, I didn't have to time to write about my trip to
Chicago with 44 teenagers last May. For those of you who read, "How to survive
New York City with 70 teenagers" last year, this one will follow the same lines
although not as detailed. It has been over two months since the trip so I can't
remember all the strange occurrences. I also did not finish my Bahamas Trip
Report...if it keeps raining like my mother predicted, I'll finish that one off
too!
Before I start, I'd like to correct a couple major errors from Alaskan Trip
Report #6 that noticed after proof-reading it again this morning.
1. I do understand the difference between "there" and "their"
2. The gas price in Barrow was $3.50 per GALLON, not litre
3. We flew on a Boeing 737, not the monster 747
4. Whatever others errors that I'm too lazy to correct...
So, here is a report about a completely different trip:
How to survive Chicago with 44 teenagers
Day 1
9:00 a.m. Board the coach at school....as usual Grade 10's (the youngest
students on the trip) scramble for the back of bus unaware that the smell of the
washroom and motion sickness will render their prime spot (far from authority) a
bust...
9:01 a.m. The first request for a movie. The almighty chaperones (that's us)
refuse to put one on until at least two hours had passed. From past experiences,
movies will render a large group of adolescents comatose for the duration of the
trip. Although this seems ideal, as educators we believe it is more beneficial
for teenagers to socialize with each other, identify passing trees and play the
licence plate game. However, in this case, a gummy bear fight ensued which we
had to deal with...
12:00 p.m. We stop at a Wendy's rest area. The students manage to blow half of
their spending money on bubblegum machine rubber spiders and 10 gallon chocolate
milkshakes.
1:00 p.m. We stop at a place called the Big Apple off the 401 highway. Live
animals are the main feature here. The grade 10 boys decided to examine the size
of the male goat's testicles. This task occupied their thoughts for at least 15
minutes. The girls all bought apple pies...
1:30 p.m. We pass a cement factory which the physics teacher incorrectly
identifies to the students as a nuclear power plant. They all believe him
anyway...
2:30 p.m. We arrive in Toronto to spend the night. The students rush to the
hotel swimming pool. The lifeguard we hired does not show up. The swimming pool
turns out to be a spa for elite guests. The owner of the spa has a hissy fit.
The kids continue to happily play in the water. The owner of the spa turns
purple and calls the manager. The kids are still happily playing in the water.
The manager tell the owner of the spa to take a pill. A second outdoor pool is
opened. The lifeguard arrives for the final 10 minutes. The grade 10 guys decide
to play water rugby. Their skinny bodies all clam together as they fight for the
ball. It looks like a big glob of pearl white, shiny human tissue...
5:00 p.m. Dinner at an Italian buffet. The grade 10 boys are so hungry they
begin eating the decorative food as well. One boy splits open an eggplant and
proceeds to decorate it with whipped cream and jellybeans. No word on the boy's
digestive tract functions that night...
7:00 p.m. The students walk down Queen Street and become very excited when
passing the Condom Shack. One student mistakes the place for a party balloon
store and wonders why he paid $50.00 for a package of six extra strength,
rainbow coloured balloons...
8:00 p.m. The students enter the Prince of Wales theater to watch the musical,
Evita. Most are completely confused by the intermission and conclude that Evita
is simply about some lady who sings a lot... A couple of grade 10 boys purchase
a pop at the bar and find out it cost them more than the price of their
tickets...
Day 2
6:30 a.m. To their dismay, the student must show up for continental breakfast at
6:30 a.m. Most did not sleep the night anyway...
11:00 a.m. We cross the border at Sarnia. The customs officer only asks if
anyone has beef on board. A grade 10 boy pipes up that he has a half-eaten ham
sandwich in one of his socks from 6 days ago. The officer confiscates the sock
and sends the boy into therapy.
3:00 p.m. We arrive in Chicago and sit in Chicago traffic for the next 3 hours.
The digestive tract of eggplant boy finally acts up. Other students begin waving
at passing truckers to honk their horns. The entire freeway traffic becomes
disorientated and some cars end up in Lake Michigan. We arrive in time for our
evening entertainment but do not have even time to drive to the hotel first to
freshen up.
6:00 p.m. The students have to change on the bus into formal wear. The girls
changed first. According to the female chaperone, they enthusiastically
discussed their foot odor. Meanwhile, the boys had to be dragged far away to a
Mcdonald's. When it came to their turn, they nearly fell over as they walked on
the bus and smelled female foot...
7:30 p.m. The entertainment is interactive dinner theatre entitled Tony and
Tina's Wedding. Some students get so involved they actually convince some guests
they are part of the act. The grade 10 boys were found close to the bridesmaids
for the most of the evening. One boy had drool dripping off his chin as he
observed the garter toss. Another was too busy consuming the free pizza the
ex-boyfriend of the bride ordered in. The priest got drunk at the wedding. The
men were all asked to come up to the bar to watch a strip tease. The chaperones
kept their distance on this one...
11:00 The hotel was a beautiful one. The security guard that night took his job
very seriously. He was a duck hunter by day...
Day 3
6:30 a.m. To the disgust of the teenagers, we had to wake up early again.
However, this time they were greeted with a mound of bacon...
9:00 a.m. A Chicago city tour...the highlight was not the Sears Tower or Wrigley
Field, or the Gangster history or the Chicago River...it was Oprah Winfrey's
studio. The students enthusiastically jumped out of the bus and were almost run
over by the traffic.
1:00 p.m. Lunch at the Shedd Aquarium followed by free time to explore. The
students were most fascinated with the sea horses with wings. The dolphin show
was a complete bust. Instead of a mindless "trick" show, it demonstrated how to
teach the dolphins to do these tricks. The trick was to stay awake during this
presentation. The author fell asleep and over 10 students photographed the
gaping hole formed by his mouth.
5:00 p.m. Dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. Our meal was served to us within five
minutes. As we consumed our mini hamburgers and chicken strips, dessert was
thrust upon us. Even the teenage boys could not keep up with the pace of
service. All of us received a coupon that entitled us to 25% a Rainforest Cafe
T-shirt. The restaurant was the ultimate example of American marketing. It was
the atmosphere of the restaurant that was marketed, not the food!
7:00 p.m. Great walk to the Ford Center for the Performing Arts to watch the
musical Wicked. We stopped at a giant Virgin Records store first. The rap
section was sold out by the time the students exited the store. The all enjoyed
the musical as well but couldn't understand why they were not allowed to listen
to their newly bought rap CD's.
Day 4
7:30 a.m. Still too early for most teenagers...some of them have not slept yet
on this trip.
10:00 a.m. Went up the world's tallest apartment building...the John Hancock
Center. Some students could not look out...others took a running start to
attempt to jump out...
1:00 p.m. Too much free time at the Navy Pier...although the students loaded up
on more junk food than Doritos can manufacture in a day.
5:00 p.m. Dinner at Giordano's- home of the best deep dish pizza in the world.
The students could not consume more than one slice each. The author consumed
three slices (he did not fill up on junk food during the day) but then had to
visit the local bathroom. However, it was occupied so the author had to run up
and down the street looking for an empty waste disposal establishment while 44
teenagers watch the show from the bus...
7:00 p.m. Live improvisational comedy...somehow our German exchange Annika's
name became Onaka by the end of the night.
10:00 p.m. - 1:00 p.m. (on Day 5) Our long bus ride back to Ottawa. Students
elected to sleep on the floor, upside down, across the seats and hanging from
the luggage racks. We arrived home to well-rested parents...
Next year the tour takes us to Hershey and Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, Baltimore,
Maryland and Washington, D.C. Wish us luck...
We now bring you back to your original programming. The Alaskan Trip Report....
Well, not much new to report. My father managed to find a stream to go fly
fishing in tonight. We are still waiting for the clouds to lift on Mount
McKinley. We shall see what happens tomorrow...the last day of July!
Thanks for reading!
