Hi folks!
We are in Valdez, Alaska, our last major touristy stop on this vacation. We have
not worn shorts very often on this trip. Only in Fairbanks, Whitehorse and the
Okanagan Valley were we given the opportunity. Rain has never been persistent
until now. The sun is but a distant memory and temperatures above 15C are
unheard of. Mary and I are going to fry when we return to Ottawa.
Watching TV with my parents...I've forgotten how much fun it is. We had decent
cable hook-up for the first time in awhile. My father believes TV content is for
the brainwashed unless the channel is tuned to PBS, Discovery, History or the
Weather Channel. I tend to agree with his argument but most of us enjoy a
mindless show once in a while. Well, today Mary and I decided to watch South
Park. My father sat down enthusiastically thinking it was a documentary on a
national park. You can imagine his shocked face when visions of Kenny being
decapitated splashed on the screen. My mother was so appalled she threw a hair
curler at the T.V.
My father fell into a salmon stream. Fortunately the soft, decaying bodies of
the salmon cushioned his fall. However, my mother scolded him endlessly about
what a big laundry job this was going to be and how much he smelled. My father
had a couple more beers that night...
Actually, there are millions of salmon clogging up the rivers all over this
beautiful town right now. Their struggle upstream is fascinating to watch...kind
of like watching my father attempting to escape hoards of tourists at every
attraction on this trip. However, as we all know from our geography class days,
these salmon all die after laying the eggs and fertilizing them. The stench was
so bad we all agreed it was a good thing we ate salmon yesterday. Tonight we had
steak...
Ah yes, my father and meat. He is the ultimate critic. Every bite will render
contrasting comments such as...."this is rough...wow, now that is
flavourful...too much gristle,... mmmmm,very tender....too cold...cooked just
right...I paid how much for this?....how's your steak?..." My father is never
happy with meat unless he is not consuming it.
Sometimes I drive on this journey. This is to give my father time to comment on
things like, "I can't believe all road signs in Alaska have bullet holes in
them", to more candid comments like "do you have a kleenex?...I have a bug
crawling up my nose..." Usually, though, his observations are about the nature
that surrounds us. Lately, his comments have ranged from, "look at that
beautiful 3708th mountain that we've now seen," to "what the hell was the price
of diesel at that gas station?" My mother has missed most of the scenery on this
trip. She is usually in a deep slumber unless she fears the road conditions will
break her dishes in the trailer. Mary is now happily reading her 78th novel
attempting to tune out the chaos around her.
The last time we were in Cuba, Mary and I bought my father some Cuban cigars. It
took him four hours to smoke a Cohiba. Our neighbors to the south, east and west
unwillingly had smoked meat as their main courses. My father also consumes beer
at an alarmingly fast rate. The beer-can crushing aftermath is the main event
however. Mary cannot stand it as he grins from ear to ear crushing the aluminium
with such fierce power we know he is experiencing another mid-life crisis.
Mary is frozen every morning. Last night she had four blankets piled on her. The
men most definitely have a different opinion of what the ideal temperature of
the trailer at night should be. So this morning, to add to my wife's total
morning comfort, I aimed the hair dryer at her face to wake her up. After
unravelling the hair dryer cord from my neck, I ran out the door before being
strangled by a pillowcase.
Back to Valdez...boy, do I ever get off topic. This town is surrounding by the
most scenic mountain range I've ever seen. Most of them are heavily snow-capped,
the waterfalls are everywhere and there are countless glaciers. Aside from the
salmon, we saw the terminus of the Alaskan pipeline and where the ships come to
load the oil. We also saw the original site of Valdez before a 9.2 magnitude
earthquake devastated the town back in 1964. They relocated the town four miles
down the road after the infrastructure was deemed unsafe. Fishing is the main
industry although tourism is beginning to creep in. We have found this town to
be the true Alaskan port almost untouched by the millions of cruise ship
tourists that have invaded so many of the other ports.
The next morning Mary slept in until 10:30 a.m. My parents were amazed and took
pictures. They've never heard of any human beings sleeping past 6:00 a.m. My
father referred to human beings as diseases today. Perhaps he should have been a
fish instead of a human. Then again...he wouldn't be able to smoke cigars...
We toured the Valdez harbour in the rain and then drove up to a very high
mountain pass. There, we were able to actually walk ON and around a glacier. It
was an amazing experience. My father discovered the value of a walking stick.
Unfortunately, it was our Costco sized umbrella that he used while it poured
rain on us. He has also been bitterly complaining that the rocks hurt his feet
because he lost his insoles. What an adventure...
This evening my father became so bored that he experimented with walkie-talkies
at close range. Mary was only three feet away with the other
walkie-talkie...time to go home...
So the last trip report (#10) will summarize our long journey home. For those of
you following an atlas, we will be driving from Valdez to Tok. Then we will
travel the Alaska highway through Hains Junction, Whitehorse, Watson Lake and
Dawson Creek. Finally, the Yellowhead Highway will take us from Edmonton to
Saskatoon and then fiinally to Winnipeg. Mary and I will be staying in Winnipeg
a week before we do our usual 2 day crash drive back to Ottawa through the upper
peninsula of Michigan.
So here I am watching Mary stir the stir-fry, my mom scurry around the camper
cleaning things that do not require cleaning and my father pressing his nose on
the screen door from the outside claiming he is lonely. Well, he found something
to do. The awning was wet so he started walloping it as hard as he could to
knock the rainwater off. Unfortunately, the seagulls had left deposits on it as
well and he was showered with their gift. Mildly annoyed, he opened the door to
the trailer to complain only to be showered again by dust from a carpet that
mother decided to shake at that exact moment.
Mary and I will be celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary tomorrow (August
5th). What better way to spend it than in a trailer with the in-laws. I don't
know when I'll have a chance to send the last report since Canadian campgrounds
do not seem to have wireless internet as widely available. So until next
time...enjoy the heat! We'll bring the cool air down for you!
Steve
