Day 8 Meet the parents/The Korean rest area/Squid/Out of the
tourist zone
So after a whirlwind tour of Seoul and the DMZ, we packed and readied ourselves
to meet the parents and the extended family. They were driving up from Kwangju
in the extreme southern part of the country to pick us up. We spent the morning
sleeping in and watching Korean game shows. Physical punishment is a priority on
these shows. Usually, if questions were answered incorrectly a blast of cold air
or a bucket of cold water would assault the contestant. What made it funnier was
the fact that cursing in Korean is far more enjoyable to listen to than the
boring F-bomb. My father hates swearing and corrects me even if I say “hell.” He
believes excessive swearing is informing the world I’m too stupid to come up
with more intelligent words to express my thoughts. I bet I’d impress him if I
swore in Korean…
The father (not mine) entered our apartment and stood before me. He was an
imposing man, six feet tall (very tall for a Korean) with a solid build. He
bowed…I bowed and then I initiated a handshake (very uncommon thing to do in
Korea but what the hell…oops, sorry Dad). He then sternly brushed past me (after
taking off his shoes and putting on the fuzzy slippers most Koreans wear inside
a residence) and inspected the room. He pointed to things, raised his eyebrows
and nodded to me with a questioning glance. The electrodes in my brain finally
configured and I understood what he was trying to ask. Did I find our
accommodations adequate? I smiled and nodded back. He grunted softly and
beckoned us out the door. The second phase of this trip had begun…
Mary did nothing to help me communicate with this intimidating man. She cowered
and tried to make herself as small as possible in the back of the KIA minivan.
We were taken to meet the rest of the family (Sun-Ju was with us already)… I
pressed on with friendly questions such as why the hell Koreans eat so much
rotten cabbage. Sun-ju was interpreting…she had far too much power at this
point.
We crossed the Han River into the newer part of Seoul. Here the streets are very
wide and everything is set up in a North American grid style. Americans helped
design this newer part of Seoul after the hellish Korean War. We picked up a
very bubbly and energetic Mom at an apartment complex. She immediately took a
liking to Mary and held her hand for most of the day. The father and I for the
record bonded very strongly through hand signals. I would become very close to
him by the end of this tour. The 10 year old brother eyed me shyly but
suspiciously. He would become quite the entertainment factor on this trip…
We ate at a very fancy Chinese restaurant with the extended family and were
treated like royalty. It was our anniversary as well (7 lucky years) and somehow
they all knew it. We received a cake and plenty of attention.
The entire family took us to another palace where the one of the uncles took
pictures of us as the paparazzi would. He usually caught me while I wiped my
glistening brow causing a rainbow shower of perspiration to fall gently within
sight of the camera lens. The grandmother scurried around with the grace of a
person 40 years younger.
To the Western eye, the palace grounds looked very similar to the one we saw a
few days earlier. I believe Mary and I were beginning to suffer from the
European church syndrome. This is a known phenomenon among ignorant North
Americans such as us. All churches in Europe begin to look the same and you
can’t for the life of you remember one interior from another. Your pictures are
useless since the area your camera covers only captures one stained glass
window. In this case, our cameras could only frame every gate we passed through.
Afterwards, we experienced an extended tour of Seoul because we couldn’t find
parking. Eventually we ended up at a bakery and were fed an enormous variety of
sweets. The father, let us call him Apa now (Korean for “dad”) bought so much
that he received a free fan. He hurried over and gave it to me. I wonder why. We
said our goodbyes to the extended family. I almost said goodbye to the mother
since at this point they all looked very similar to us.
So we drove out of Seoul for the first time and saw the Korean countryside.
Problem was, Seoul seems to take up most of that. Apartment complexes numbered
101, 103, 105 stretched as far as the eye could see. From our vantage point,
they looked like American projects with rainbow colourings. Finally, the
apartments dwindled away and instead of any remote likeness to housing, we saw
endless rice fields, green mountains and black canopies covering more sensitive
crops.
To drive across South Korea from east to west or north to south only takes
around 4-5 hours. The freeway system is super efficient carrying millions of
vehicles every single day. The rest areas serve as an oasis for weary travellers
tired of battling the incredible volume of traffic. Unlike the Canadian rest
area that consists of a fly infested hole in the ground and a weathered tourist
map from 1962 protected by broken glass, the Korean rest area is essentially a
self-contained city. We marvelled at the thousands of people happily moving
about as soothing music filled the air and bonsai tree vendors enthusiastically
hawked their products. Squid was barbequed everywhere, washrooms were impeccably
clean and the choice of food was endless. There were bars, grocery stores,
entertainment complexes…everything you could image. The family bought some
snacks for the four hour drive to Kwangju. This is where the little brother and
I bonded.
The little guy came up to the front and sat between Apa and myself. There was a
small third seat to accommodate him. He had bought some dried squid and started
ripping away at the packaging. I can’t begin to describe the smell that filled
the van. His teeth gnashed away at the body of the squid and eventually tore off
the suction cupped laced tentacles, one by one. I was unfortunate enough to
observe this spectacle at close range. I did try a piece and then promptly
washed it down with a green tea drink.
The little boy began inspecting my blond arm hairs and attempted to pluck them
out, one by one. The colour of them seemed to fascinate him. He then offered me
chocolate covered chestnuts. Folks, that was one of the strangest textures I’ve
ever eaten in my life. The nut seemed to disintegrate in my mouth as a bit into
it… It did cover up the fishy taste of the squid The boy’s English was slightly
better than his parents. He decided to practise it by playing a four-hour-long
word game with me. I would say an English word…whatever letter it ended with,
served as the first letter for a new English word. All three ladies, Hyun-Seung,
Mary and Ama (mom) sat in the back and dosed for most of the journey to Kwangju.
Sun-Ju did not come with us as she was finishing a University course in Seoul.
My communication skills with Apa were improving considerably. I was able to find
out that his job was managing a company that recycled petroleum products. He was
also the landlord for a downtown building complex in Kwangju that he owned. He
inherited this complex from his father. Ama uses one of these building and runs
a semi-permanent make-up salon. She usually works almost 12 hours a day, which
explains why she was sleeping in the back…
We arrived in Kwangju, out of the tourist zone, and were now officially
celebrities. We saw no more than five non-Asians during our entire week-long
stay in this fascinating city. We sat on the floor again and ate at a
traditional Korean restaurant (go figure). It was a light dinner of soup and
rice since the squid and chestnuts still rumbled angrily in our stomachs. Some
die-hard Koreans eat live squid but die because of it. The squid slides down the
throat and attaches itself to the wall. Thus, you can’t breathe. Our hosts have
never tried that but apparently Apa has eaten the tentacles right after they
were chopped off from a live specimen. There will be many food stories now
folks…be warned! Apa had planned a culinary experience of a lifetime for us.
We approached the family’s apartment complex and were given a quick tour. Even
though each floor of this particular complex had many units, the elevator we
took only served two units per floor. How quick and efficient… Their door was
covered in advertisements for keyless entry systems (see Facebook picture) Apa
was the last holdout in the complex preferring the traditional deadbolt instead.
The apartment was quite spacious but not enough to accommodate us. Apa led us to
a very bright neon-lit district filled with bars, restaurants, corner stores and
countless themed motels. We were too tired to comprehend why so many motels were
located in a residential area of a city not frequented by tourists.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we found out why very quickly as we were checked into the
“Best Motel,” located across from the “Castle Motel.” But you’ll have to wait
until Asian Trip Report Part 5 to be released Sunday, September 23rd, 2007 to
find out! Have a great week!
