Venezuela

Hello Travellers

We stayed on Margarita Island, approx. 30 km north of the Venezuelan mainland from Dec 26th until Jan 3rd. Many of my fellow Canadian tourists are undoubtedly still recovering from resort food-inflicted bodily malfunctions. This will not be a report glorifying the all-inclusive resort. That is what those ridiculously glossy travel brochures are for. I intend to explore why this vacation was considered a disaster by the majority of my fellow Canadians.

The Hotel and surrounding area

We all know what a mirage is. Usually the human subconscious will construct a mirage when faced with a vast, monotonous and threatening environment that knows no boundaries. The city of Porlamar, located on Margarita Island is that environment. Our hotel vainly and unsuccessfully presented itself as the mirage. Our guide gleefully informed us not to venture outside the hotel after dark. Muggings are a serious threat to all tourists. They were not kidding. A Canadian tourist was struck in the ribs with a baseball bat while trying protect his wife and her struggle to hold onto her purse. His wife then proceeded to smash a bottle against the perpetrator's head. The wife of a couple we went walking with nearly had her gold necklace torn off. This was in broad daylight. Stores hand out merchandise through metal bars to their customers. This area was as close as TWO BLOCKS from our hotel! Coincidently, this is also the area where our guide recommended we change our money to the Venezuelan currency.

The Hotel is clean and the rooms are a decent size. Definitely not a 3.5 star that it is advertised but it's not awful. We were fortunate to have a balcony where as most of the people we spoke with had a lovely view of the parking lot... with car alarms going off all night! Also, since we were there over New Year's, people were constantly setting off fireworks and firecrackers everyday at all hours of the day and night. If you were a jumpy kind of person, you started to wonder if they were all firecrackers and not gun shots.

The Beach

Please envision white pristine sand, turquoise water, gently lapping waves, tranquility only thought possible from listening to the sounds of Yanni or Kenny G, fresh salt-laden air and gracefully hovering birds. Now envision the opposite. Welcome to our beach. Yes, ladies and gentleman... a raw sewage pipe leading into the water 100 meters down the beach from our hotel. Locals throwing their cooking grease happily into the brown, murky mess. Barbed wire fences to keep the locals off hotel property. Fisherman giving the cutthroat signal if you wander too far in one direction. Stray dogs contributions turning the romantic beach walk into a smelly game of hopscotch. Interesting how Go Travel Direct advertised this hotel as having an ideal beach location. You couldn’t even sit in a chair without getting a whiff of garbage or dog poop.

The Excursions

The highlight of our trip. We snorkelled around a shipwreck. We bounced along in a jeep through rainforests high in the mountains. We traveled in those same jeeps to beautiful secluded coastal beaches and even participated in a mud bath. As with most poorer countries, once you leave the population center, you begin to see the true beauty of the land. Make sure you book your excursions early. We waiting in line for two hours our first day and were glad later that we did. Many people were shut out since not all excursions run everyday. There were only 50 spots for snorkelling and more than 500 Go Travel Direct guests throughout the various hotels in the area. All three of the tours we took were well worth the money: Snorkelling for $45, Jeep Tour for $45, Island Highlights for $35. (Prices are US$ and are approximations as you will pay in Boulivars).

The Language Barrier

No one spoke any English anywhere at our hotel (except the federalist Canadians). This created quite a problem for check-in and check-out procedures, towel distribution and most importantly ordering a drink at the bar. My wife ordered the special three times within three hours and received three different drinks. The bartenders seemed to enjoy the macabre act of crushing ice in a blender more than getting drink orders right.

Bartering on the streets is also difficult. I suggest you bring a pen and paper and write down what you want to offer. There isn't a lot of variety in what you can buy from the local venders. Mostly tacky jewellery and such.

The Food

The advertisement for this resort indicated that there was a choice of three restaurants. This was not true. The first night we were there, we had the choice of...(drum roll please)...the buffet...or...go hungry. After much complaining from the guests, pizza was included the second night. The "fancy" restaurant on the second floor of the hotel was still not included by the end of our stay.

Not all Latin American countries have discovered spices. Venezuela seems to be one of them. Imagine sticking a spoonful of flour in your mouth, letting it congeal and then throw in some expired mayonnaise to moisten your palate. That was our dining experience night after night. Over 75% of the hotel patrons vomited at some point during our stay. An entire diving expedition was cancelled one day because everyone called in sick. We surprisingly stayed healthy.

Breakfast usually consisted of hot dog wieners cut in into shapes that curiously resembled baby carrots, slices of cheese that stuck together from the humidity and could only be separated with a crowbar, hard-boiled eggs that curiously were all pre-cracked in places and of course, watermelon juice. Watermelon does not need to be made into juice.

Lunch usually consisted of five curious looking conglomerations of beef, poultry, fish, pork and mystery meat. We didn't eat much of the meats and were glad that we did. One day all of the people who ate the fish got sick.

Supper was usually the left-overs from lunch with the exciting additional of food-colouring to heighten the visual appeal.

Desserts all looked different but all tasted the same... usually patrons only took one bite and left the rest...

At the pizzeria, the average three hour wait resulted in us ordering take-out to be delivered to the restaurant. Curiously, that move was applauded by many other guests... Unfortunately the pizza guy on the scooter hassled the management claiming our party paid him with a 5000 Bolivar note instead of a 50000 Bolivar note. He was not allowed on the resort to argue his cause. We still don't know how management dealt with him...

The snack bar is open for a couple of hours in the afternoon. However, there are several hours between breakfast and lunch, and then from snack time to dinner time where you cannot get food unless you buy it from the pool area bar. We have never been at an all-inclusive where you couldn't get some kind of food from 7am-midnight.

Events that cannot be categorized

The first information our Go Travel Direct rep gave us was don't use the beach and don't travel outside the hotel at night. Great first impression...

Our welcome drink at the hotel was non-alcoholic and tasted like a cheap version of the orange drink McDonald's serves at kiddie baseball games...

Our shower curtain in the hotel room held water like a screen... hence the drain in the middle of the bathroom floor.

Music was played at the resort from 7:00 a.m. in the morning until midnight...loudly. Only one song too...called Chihuahua.

There are no stop signs or traffic lights. Intersections are basically proceed-at-your-own risk endeavours. There are no crosswalks, just sprint-walks to avoid getting run over...

New Years Eve featured the hotel staff illegally setting off fireworks bought off the street. The manager lit the fireworks himself and ran like hell... Most exploded within five feet of the nearest hotel patron...

Never complain about the state of Canadian roads and sidewalks ever again... you know that feeling you have when you walk down the steps and don't realize there is still one more? Sidewalk repair in Venezuela doesn't happen. Apparently in Caracas, the capital city, sidewalks do not exist...

All residential apartment balconies have bars...wow, your own personal jail...

Broken bottles molded into the top of concrete walls serve as a deterrent to enter private property... Sadly, if you do make it over your journey would result in seeing the same scenery on the other side...

Money under the table is how 75% of the countries in the world operate. Especially at our hotel. One of our friends indicated that hotel staff that served him efficiently were on his payroll. Boy, was he ever right...

Margarita Island has almost every single ecosystem you can imagine at that latitude. It makes for quite a geographical tour de force... Interestingly enough, the water here is not turquoise for the most part due to the Atlantic and Caribbean currents mixing. This creates quite an undertow which mixes up the sediment on the ocean floor. This also prevents hurricanes from arriving since there is not a strong, single current to follow.

Wrong Impressions...

We loved this vacation. It was not a nightmare contrary to the impression you must have at this point. Why? Because travel is all about experience. When you travel, you set yourself up to experience the good and the bad. We were enlightened, we were disgruntled, we were horrified, we were exhilarated. We made tons of new friends and are even having a "I Survived Margarita" Party very soon. Their company while we were there made everything more bearable.

In Venezuela, the locals - like most people in the world - are genuine, friendly and warm-hearted. It is unfortunate that corrupt government, mismanagement of natural resources and a monetary system that has no tight control, produces some harsh economic realities. There is no middle class here. Only the very rich and the very poor.

Congratulations….

You made it to the end of our report!!! Just to put things in perspective for you, we are a young couple and have travelled through more than 90% of Canada and the US, much of Europe, and many places in the Caribbean. We are not fussy and are very adaptable. Don't think that this report is written by travellers expecting the comforts of home when away. We are very seasoned travellers but prefer to know what we're getting into. The advertising of this resort was completely wrong and they really aren't ready to cater to North American tourists looking for a relaxing vacation. Most people travelling to the Caribbean are not looking for a risky adventure in a ride-on-the-seat-of-your-pants sort of way.

The Bottom Line

If you have already booked your trip... plan on booking excursions and getting off the resort as much as possible. Make lots of friends while you're there and make the most of your stay.

If you are thinking about booking...look elsewhere.